Just realized...

Just realized that my last post was a little rude to Casey. I am terribly sorry if I portrayed him as a helpless husband. He really is the best, you know. He is always so willing to do anything I need him to do. He is such a fun husband and dad. Sometimes I can't help wondering how such a crotchety old woman like me snagged such a sweetheart. He is a good man. He does so much for us. He even let's me put my cold feet in his knee-pits at night. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

And she's off....

Here is a video of sweet Molly walking. These aren't her first steps. She unexpectedly took her first steps at Casey's parents' house on Benson's birthday (Sept. 16, she wasn't even 9 months old!) while everybody was watching Benson open presents. But here she is the other day at my parents' house. For some reason, she will walk and walk and walk for Grandpa Wayne.

And here's another gem for you. My sister sent home a bunch of clothes for our little peach. Turns out the suitcase was pretty exciting! I love hearing both of them giggling at the same time. Usually it's more like this: Benson giggling cause he's squishing Molly, Molly screaming cause she's getting squished, and me yelling at the squisher.... where is Casey when all of this is happening?

Oh, that reminds me!

Remember how our poop and vomit scores were a little off-balance? With me leading by quite a ways. Well, now the scores are now even. Is there a story to go with this change of events, you ask... Why yes, I might be able to dig up a story for you.

You might remember 2 weeks ago, something hit our family hard. First Benson and Molly were sick, then I was sick, and Casey brought up the rear being sick. Well, on this particular day, it was Monday, I made Casey come home from work to take care of us because I felt terrible. He brought us Arctic Circle for lunch and took care of the kids for me while I moaned and groaned. Lucky for Casey, I was the only one sick that day...... But, sick or not, babies still poop, and we all know the score for changing diapers USED TO BE: Natalie: 15,834, Casey: 4.

So Molly pooped, and an itsty-bitsy bit leaked out of her diaper onto the carpet. We told Benson to watch out so he didn't step on the poop. Bad idea, cause as soon as Benson sees, smells, thinks about or hears of poop, he starts gagging, and in this instance, puking. So now we have Molly with a leaky poopy diaper, Benson puking, me trying to catch the puke in a bowl while gagging, and Casey sitting helpless and in shock.

Long story for me to say that Casey cleaned up Benson's puke. Of course I changed the messy diaper and bathed the poopy baby and the puking kid. But, none of that matters because CASEY CLEANED UP PUKE, my friends.

Now the score is even.

Halloween Fun

Stole this idea from our friends blog

A Child's Prayer

Every night I sit on the end of Benson's bed before he goes to sleep. I feed Molly and do the bedtime routine with Benson. It works out nicely because I get to cuddle with sweet Molly and I get to hear Benson's take on the day. Usually we'll talk for a bit and then I'll tell a story and sing a few songs by the time both of them have fallen asleep.

Tonight, after we talked about firemen and policemen and who we can trust in emergencies, (oh and of course some talk about who gets to have guns) Benson asked me to sing him some songs. I started singing some of my favorite primary songs. Benson fell asleep after the first line of the first song, and Molly was pretty much asleep instantly, enjoying her bottle. I secretly love singing out loud, even though I am no good at it, so I kept singing. Casey probably thought it was taking a long time to get the kids to sleep, but I wasn't singing for their souls anymore, I was singing for mine.

I started singing one of my all-time favorite songs, A Child's Prayer. As I sat there, in our dark and quiet home, I closed my eyes and really felt the spirit as I sang. "Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?" Something stirred in my soul and I was reminded of the simple truth that I've known since my primary days. Heavenly Father is there, he does hear us, and he loves us.

Puking at the empty nester's

Just in case you didn't think my blog had enough talk of vomit, here is some more.

Tonight we had a photobooth till really late in slc. So the kids stayed at my mom's and then I just slept here cause they were already sound asleep by the time I got back. Now it's 4:06 am and my poor parents who thought they were empty nesters have now opened their nest to a group of pukers.

Poor Molly got whatever Benson had and has been up puking. The sad thing is that she is still so happy. Between vomit attacks, she is just as peachy as a peach. She must get it from Jan because while I was freaking out a little bit, mom was hustling about changing the sheets and conjuring up some more PJ's for the peachy baby. Molly was so happy, in fact, and Jan was so bustly while I was freaky, that we almost missed the puking noises coming from the other room. So Jan just bustled some more to get Benson some new sheets and PJ's. Benson was just like Molly and seemed oddly happy after puking too.

Now I'm rocking the peach. Jan is doing more laundry. The boy went back to sleep like nothing happened (he got to have grandma lay by him for a while.). And poor grandpa Wayne is in his office working. He won't be able to go back to sleep. Oh, and Casey? He is having the best night's sleep at home with nobody puking to disturb him. I cannot believe how he has really avoided all of this vomit.

I'm sure this is not the end of the vomiting. I will keep you posted on when we have infected the empty nesters with our germs.

I was planning some good posts, so this sucks for you having to read about puke. You can look forward to hearing about how we might have accidentally sold our house coming up soon.

Oh and p.s. I love my mom for taking care of us. If I turn out to be any bit as good as Jan, we should all sing songs of rejoicing.

I feel like throw up!

4:52 am: Not a creature was stirring, not even Molly Mouse.

4:53 am: (Benson) "Mom, I feel like throw up."

4:53 1/2: I grab Benson out of his bed as he starts throwing up. We trail puke from his bed to the bathroom.

4:55: Since there is puke on his sheets and I don't want to change them and wake up Molly, I told Benson he could stay in our bed. Casey is leaving for work in an hour anyway. Benson says "sweet!" and we all lay in our bed together.

5:02: (Benson) "I hear my daddy snoring"

5:08 am: (Benson) "I feel like throw up!"

5:43 am: (Benson) "I feel like throw up!"

6:09 am: Casey gets up and gets ready to go to work.

6:12 am: (Benson) "I feel like throw up!"

6:55 am: Casey leaves for work.

7:10 am: (Benson) "I feel like throw up!"

7:11 am: (Benson) "I want my DADDY!!!!"

Now I want Benson's daddy too, because when I was pregnant with Benson, Casey and I came to an agreement about puke. I promised to take care of every single wet, dirty, stinky diaper if Casey took care of the puke. So far our count is this:

Dirty Diapers:

Natalie- 15,834

Casey- 4

Puke:

Natalie- every puke so far

Casey- 0

Makes me feel like throw up! (not literally)

Here is Benson with his puke bowl. When I gave him this bowl to puke in, he said: "That's the bowl we put the tomatoes from the garden in. I don't want to throw up in it!"

And it is the bowl we put our tomatoes in. But I am willing to sacrifice it.

Stuck

The other day, Molly got stuck in this little boat in the bathtub. She was quite thrilled by it!

A few of my favorite {cleaning} things

My house is in shambles. Does your house ever get that way? It just seems like no matter how much I clean and clean, I am never done. I feel like I am in a rut here. So I'm going to post a few of my favorite {cleaning} things to remind myself how easy I really have it. And how nice my contraptions are. So I should use them and get to work!

Squeegee. I have HUGE windows and I cannot reach them to wash the outsides, so I got this squeegee and put it on my broomstick and now I can wash my outside windows. It's really nice.

Scentsy. I have a really cute warmer, but I want this cherry blossom one, isn't it cute! I love turning on my scentsy after I clean. It makes the house seem {and smell} cleaner. I also love the pumpkin roll scent. It is my favorite of all times!

Lint roller. We have microfiber couches and sometimes it's hard to get all of the little crumbs and little threads and stuff off. The lint roller is perfect to make my couches look WAY better.

Kaboom. Casey used this on his mission and made me buy this when we were first married to clean our tub and shower. I used it until it was gone and then I tried using something else to clean my shower and turns out Kaboom is the best. It seriously MELTS away soap scum. Perfect!

Clorox wipes. I have been out of these for a while and I haven't been able to clean my toilet because there's no way I'm using a washcloth, I'd have to throw it away after. I love that I can wipe the toilet down with these and it disinfects and then I can throw them away.

Pledge Muli-surface. I came across this by accident because I had a coupon for it. But I really do love it because I can use it on my wood, glass, electronics, etc. It is nice to be able to wipe everything down without having to switch rags and spray bottles. So convenient.

My dishwasher is not this nice, but I still love it! I never knew how much a dishwasher could improve my life until I got one, and I could never go back. If I don't have time {or energy} to do anything else, doing the dishes makes all the difference in the world. Our kitchen seems a lot cleaner when the sink isn't overflowing.

Roomba. Oh how I love my roomba. It is a robot vacuum. I push the button and it wanders around my house to vacuum for me. It goes from my carpet to my hardwood to my tile without any problem and it doesn't just flip stuff around, it actually works! And we got it for way cheap, brand new, on KSL.com.

Shark steam mop. I just got this {brand new, and cheap on KSL.com, of course} and I have only used it once, but I love it. It is so nice to use on the stuck on stuff on my hardwood and tile. I love that it doesn't use any chemicals so I am not putting my children in danger when they crawl all over my clean floors. I've also used it to steam clean my messy, fingerprinted, walls.

Ok, I better get using all of these things that make my life a lot easier. Now if they would just invent a contraption that went around and picked up toys and socks and put them where they go!

What are your favorite cleaning products or devices?

We would be sleeping...

It is 2:35 a.m. As I write this. I am up feeding Molly because despite popular belief that my children do not wake up in the night, here we are. I think she is teething and needs some special love in the middle of the night. As I sit here feeding her and typing on my iPhone, I cannot help but think about the millions of moms (or dads) that will be up tonight with their babies. Rocking them to sleep, soothing their hurt tummies, or trying some strange bouncing and walking acts to get the kiddo back to sleep (Krystal).

When I think of it like that, I don't feel that bad to be up right now. I am part of an elite team of "special forces" like many others across the world. We are called in when the going gets tough. Because we are the only ones skillful enough to be so effective on so little sleep.

Yeah, I'll think of it that way. That will help. Nope. It won't. I'm still really tired, special forces or not.

About to Lose it!

I lost it tonight. I Yelled. I did not talk forcefully, I yelled. At Benson. Then at Casey. I think I scared them both. I probably scared the neighbors, who most likely heard every word. There really wasn't good cause for yelling, besides that I lost it. I lost control. Control of my temper, control of the situation, control of this household, control of me. Sometimes I lose it, and I don't like it when I'm like that. In the moment, I knew that I was out of control, but for some reason, I could not figure out how to regain control once I had lost it. I hated myself for losing it. I hated that I was yelling and I hated the way Benson and Casey both looked at me while I was losing it.

I took a time out and I gathered myself together. I sat at the end of Benson's bed and I talked to him. Nicely. I explained to him that I feel really bad that he couldn't have a good mom. I told him that I wish he could have a nicer mom than me; who knew endless bedtime stories, could control everything going on, could think up fun activities and would never feel tired or angry, who would be a friend for her children and not some sort of monster. I told him how sorry I felt for losing it. And then he said "You are a naughty mommy."

And I am.

There is no taking back tonight. I wish I could. What even happened? How did I let myself get to the point where I think that it's OK to yell at my sweet little boy and my oh-so wonderful husband? I'm not sure where my breaking point is anymore, but it is far too soon than it aught to be. Sitting there, on the end of his bed, singing primary songs to him and rocking Molly to sleep, I kept thinking that I wondered what could make me better. How could I never get to this point again. I don't want to ever feel like I felt tonight when I looked into those huge, sad, blue eyes of my little boy. This isn't how I am supposed to be. I need to do better and the only way I can do better is by changing myself.

I thought about this video I had seen last week and how it made me feel so good then, but how I really needed it now. I know what I need to do. I need to be a better mom (and wife), and the only way I can do that is with the help of my Heavenly Father. I keep feeling like I should be able to do everything by myself, and then I feel disappointed when I can't. But it shouldn't be that way. I should rely whole-heartedly on the Lord. Along with Casey, He should be my partner in this. There is no reason to feel like I'm losing it. The Lord will help me. I know he will. I just need to let him. In this video, Elder Holland says "The very fact that you've been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you."

So I guess I can't lose it anymore. I've got a big responsibility here, I've got two little spirits relying on me and a Heavenly Father that trusts me. I can't blow it. I've got to do better. No, I've got to BE better. I can't be a naughty mommy anymore.