I've told this story before, so please excuse me if you've heard it.
Being a mom of 3 is a little different. Everyone asks if it's harder, and yeah, it is more work for sure... but mostly, it's just different. There is another mouth to feed and another bottom to wipe, more laundry, more dishes, and somehow less time.
I like to think of myself as a pretty good mom. My kids have pretty much everything they could want. They don't go hungry. They have almost every toy they could want. They get baths sometimes and usually, I fix them something they like for dinner. I know all the tricks to make them happy. I know how to distract Benson, how to comfort Molly, and how to get Jack to take a binkie. I will be the first to tell you that I am not perfect. Trust me. But I am trying. Boy howdy, am I trying.
And sometimes I feel overwhelmed. I could clean all day, and there would still be more to clean tomorrow. I could cook a gourmet meal, and the kids would still eat it like dogs, without using a fork. But the thing that overwhelms me is that it doesn't matter how much attention I give, someone isn't getting enough of MOM. Or, somehow, after I've tried and tried and tried, I didn't do a good enough job.
When Jack was just a few weeks old, I lost it one night. I felt defeated. So I left the older kids with Casey and took Jack shopping. Really, I just needed to go for a drive and get away from being pulled in 10 different directions.
As I was driving, I could not help but feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I prayed out loud for some sort of comfort or relief from this overwhelming feeling of disappointment I was feeling. And the peace came almost immediately. My father in heaven heard my cries of despair, though they are small compared to some. He comforted me. I felt the love of my savior envelope me. And then I received a little bit of personal revelation that I feel like I want to share.
After all I do, or try to do... why do I feel so overwhelmed and inadequate?
I believe that I'm doing an important work. Being a mom might just be one of the most important roles anyone can play in this life, and guess who wants me to fail? Satan. I know, beyond a doubt, that Heavenly Father loves me and that if I am doing my best, that is enough. But there are real forces of evil working against my efforts everyday. I believe that Heavenly Father wants me to succeed. He is cheering for me. There are angels in Heaven who are helping me. But there is an adversary who wants me to feel like my best isn't good enough. I must be doing alright, or else he wouldn't be working on me so hard. It might seem a little cheesy, but all I can do is my best. All anyone can do is their best, try their hardest, and it will be enough.
Being a mom is tricky. It isn't always rainbows and butterflies. But it's an important job. I'm so glad that I have been SO blessed to have these 3 little angels who rely on me to teach them. It is overwhelming and I don't see it getting any easier, but I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to give me a little bit of peace and comfort once in a while. I think I'm doing alright. And guess what? So are you.
And now, because blogs are no fun without pictures, here are my Neapolitan children. One of each flavor: